Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary
by waterrain
Summary: Prussia believes himself to be the son of Arthur Kirkland and that his name is Gilbert Kirkland.His body had been turned into that of a 12 year old by England hours before his memory loss.Hogwarts has a new 2nd year student by the name of Gilbert Kirkland
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You. **

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

England had used a spell on Prussia to make him look like a twelve year old and afterwards ask the red eyed Nation to go to Hogwarts and look after Harry Potter. Of course Prussia refused, he left despite the fact he still looked like a child, and ignored England's yelling.

So Prussia was lost, but he refuses to admit to being completely and utterly lost. His cell phone was not working, it had turned itself off, and started sizzling for some reason. So the red eyed Nation tossed it up at the sky and the cell phone hit him on the head.

"Damn." Prussia muttered as he rubbed his sore head and decided to crush it with his epic combat boots. "Cause only sissies throw their evil cell phones."

After crushing said evil phone cell into tiny bits and pieces he noticed that everyone was wearing some weird cloaks, but then again Prussia decides that it must be one of England's odd fashion choices this month or something.

"You look as if you are lost. Do you need help going somewhere? I will be going into my second year of Hogwarts this year, but I know my way around diagon alley." Hermione asked calmly as she looked at him and in her eyes he looked lost.

"The awesome me is not lost! I'm never ever lost and I do not need any damn help from anyone!" Prussia said loudly and proudly with his hands on his hips. He cackled for a moment and added smugly. "At least I do not have odd as hell clothing."

"I think that boy is mental." Ron whispered to Hermione.

"Are you a muggle?" Harry asked him and he received a fierce glare.

"Go find yourself a toddler, Kiddo. I'm not going to let myself be mugged by a scrawny boy and his little crew of thugs. I'm too awesome to be mugged." Prussia replied firmly and he started walked away with his head held up high, but then slipped on the pieces of his cell phones and the back of his head met the concrete.

England decided to make his move now that Prussia is unconscious and more than likely suffered memory loss.

"Sorry about my child, Gilbert. He tends to be rude towards strangers no matter of the age of said stranger." England commented as he picked up Prussia and walked away. On the green eyed Nation's lips was a faint smirk for he wouldn't have to offer Prussia a ten year supply of beer to go to Hogwarts after all.

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	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You to those that Reviewed. **

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

"Good bye, Son." England stated flatly and they were by the Hogwarts Express.

"Hah, You are glad to be rid of me. I made your life a living hell, Daddy." Gilbert said smugly as he held onto his luggage, a smirk on his lips, and England forced a smile on his lips.

"Ah, I love you too. Behave yourself, Gilly." England managed to say and Gilbert flipped him off.

"I'll raise hell in Hogwarts just because you said behave." Gilbert commented causally and he tilted his head. "Anyway, Daddy. I best be getting on the train and you won't be seeing me for however long."

England decided to give Gilbert a brief hug and he released him after a minute.

"I will miss you." England said calmly and after a moment he was surprised by Gilbert's words.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too." Gilbert muttered before getting on the train and made sure not to forget his luggage. The train ride was quiet, he decided to change, and took a nap so that he will have plenty of energy later on.

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	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

"Kirkland, Gilbert."

The Sorting Hat was placed on Gilbert's head. Gilbird was on top of the boy's head and the Sorting Head was reading the bird's mind.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The Sorting Hat yelled and he was swiftly thrown by an excited Gilbert.

"Hell yeah, Bitches! I'm a Hufflepuff and I can kick your asses! After all I'm the awesome Gilbert!" Gilbert yelled out cheerfully, a smirk on his lips, and both fists raised up towards the ceiling.

Gilbert was cackling as if he was an evil witch and doing cartwheels. Everyone was speechless for this has never happened before in the long history of Hogwartss and to think that a Hufflepuff was the cause of it.

"Which table do I go to?" Gilbert muttered to himself as he glanced at the tables and noticed right away the one with Scarlet & Gold Flag.

"Not that table since the color Scarlet is for whores, murders, and vampires. Gold is lame and overrated." Gilbert said carelessly and he looked at another table. "Not that table since the color green is for puking pansy's, envious people, and greedy sluts. Silver is just as lame and overrated as Gold."

"Not that table since the color blue is for crying nitwits, depressed poets, and people destined for padded white walls. The Bronze color is alright, but I there are better colors." Gilbert commented calmly and then he smirked widely at the remaining table.

"The color yellow is epic and awesome! The color black is for people that kick some major ass. Yellow and Black must be for the Hufflepuffs! Screw the colors scarlet, gold, green, silver, blue, and bronze not literally cause they are lame!" Gilbert cheered as he walked over smiling brightly and his bird quietly went back to the top of Gilbert's hair tweeted happily.

Cedric Diggory a fourth year Hufflepuff decided to swiftly grab the red eyed boy and had a hand over his lips.

"Gilbert, Please settle down." Cedric said calmly and he received a nod from Gilbert.

"Mister Kirkland, For future reference please do watch your language." Headmaster Dumbledore said to him and he received a nod from Gilbert.

"Sorry, Didn't know you people have virgin ears. How can I watch my mouth when I can't see my damn mouth? Oh, It looks like everyone's ears are sluts now. Do you people feel like such awesome sluts because of me. Your ears are not whores for they didn't pay me anything. I'm too awesome for words." Gilbert commented causally and every single Hufflepuff expect Gilbert eyes wide in disbelief. Dumbledore's eyes were not twinkling at all and it is the first time that anyone saw him looking pissed off.

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	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

"Mister Kirkland, Please take a seat and after the feast I wish for you to follow me into my office." Headmaster Dumbledore told him firmly and Cedric decided to put his hands back over Gilbert's mouth.

So the red eyed boy nodded in agreement, he was turned around by Cedric, and had a seat at the Hufflepuff table. After a few minutes and Dumbledore gave his speech and food suddenly appear causing all of the first years to gasp in amazement. Gilbert noticed the food appearing, but he didn't care at the moment.

"Hey, Is that old geezer a pedophile or something?" Gilbert asked in a whisper to Cedric and he received a look of disbelief.

"No. Whatever gave you that idea. The one you back talked happens to be Headmaster Dumbledore." Cedric replied firmly and Gilbert rolled his red eyes.

"Well the whole follow me into my office was creepy and disturbing." Gilbert stated to him and his arms were crossed. "I'm too awesome to be felt up by an old man. I'm cute, adorable, and innocent. Anyone would be tempted to touch me since I'm so awesome and cute as a kitten. I can turn anyone bi or straight or Gilbertsexual or homosexual. I'm just that awesome and epic. I could have the world at my mercy without even lifting one awesome finger due to my awesome looks."

Cedric looked up at the ceiling and wondered how on earth a child like Gilbert managed to get into Hufflepuff.

'Is this punishment for that one time I snapped at that clumsy Gryffindor?' Cedric wondered and he looked down at Gilbert. 'This must be some kind of punishment.'

"So what year are you in?" Gilbert asked calmly and he was making himself a plate. "First time at Hogwarts, but I'm in the second year. Just to let you know I'm not hitting on you since I can tell you are a goody goody two shoes. I do not like do gooders because they are normally annoying. I'm talking with you just because I'm bored and I decided to be kind by letting you hear my awesome voice."

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	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

"My name is Cedric Diggory-" The fourth year hufflepuff started to say, but he stopped when Gilbert snickered loudly and Cedric frowned at the smaller boy.

"Hey, Are you a gold digger?" Gilbert managed to ask as he clenched his sides trying to control himself.

"No." Cedric replied flatly and he crossed his arms. "Why are you asking?"

"Not telling since you don't get the joke. Anyway what kind of punishment do you think I'll get for telling the truth?" Gilbert said causally as he looked up at the ceiling. "Will I be chained to wall and whipped until I can't walk because I told the honest to awesomeness truth?"

"What kind of school do you think this is Gilbert?" Cedric asked the second year hufflepuff and he received a short cackle.

"Hogwarts. Horror Of Green Warts And Really Tarty Sadists." Gilbert said cheerfully and he was grinning widely. "Hah, Just kidding. I don't know what to think of this school since I have not been here that long."

Cedric sighed heavily, he looked at Gilbert, and then looked up at the ceiling. The second year hufflepuff decided to stand up and stretch.

"So what are the other houses?" Gilbert asked calmly as he glanced at the other tables and decided to sit back down. "Bet they have lame names."

"You didn't pay attention to the sorting hat." Cedric commented as he looked at Gilbert in disbelief.

"As soon as that hat started speaking and stuff..I ignored it and thought on how I'm the most awesome person in the whole entire galaxy." Gilbert stated honestly and he smiled brightly. "No one can match my awesomeness."

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	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

Gilbert was inside of Dumbledore's office and noticed there were two other boys.

'Boy with ugly glasses. Boy with no glasses.' Gilbert thought and he wondered briefly what did they do, but mentally shrugged and didn't really care. 'They don't look badass so they didn't do anything too bad. That boy with those ugly glasses has some sort of lightning bolt. Might be a scar or birthmark or tattoo.'

"You two look like complete pansy's." Gilbert commented causally and he smirked at them before asking. "So were you two caught making out or something? I'm asking cause of you two look roughed up and I doubt that you boys were fighting."

Harry and Ron looked at the red eyed boy with disbelief.

"What! We are not poofs!" Ron and Harry said loudly to Gilbert.

"Yeah, Sure. Keep telling yourself and it might become true, but doubtful. " Gilbert commented stated calmly and he smirked at them. "Guess what house I am in?"

"Slytherin." Harry and Ron said to him at the same time.

"Nope. I'm not with the puking pansy's, envious people, and greedy sluts house." Gilbert said cheerfully and he smirked at them before telling them." I'm in the awesome and epic house which is Hufflepuff, bitches."

Before Harry or Ron could say anything to the red eyed boy that was when the door opened up.

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	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or Harry Potter. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Gilbert Kirkland And The Diary **

**By waterrain**

Gilbert Kirkland decided to remain silent as the old man was going on and on about something. The red eyed boy yawned sleepily and he was starting to fall asleep, but someone hit him on the back of the head with a book. Ron and Harry were still there, but Gilbert didn't care about them.

"What the fuck?" Gilbert asked loudly and he noticed that the one who smacked him was an adult with black hair. His question was ignored by everyone inside of Dumbledore's office for some reason and to be honest Gilbert was getting annoyed, but he came up with an idea and forced himself to think if he was born unawesome. It would be such a tragedy, the world would be missing out on his awesomeness, and those red eyes started to fill up with tears at the thought of being unawesome.

"Why is everyone ignoring me?" Gilbert asked in a pitiful voice, tears were falling down his flushed cheeks, and he hiccupped. "I just want some attention. My dad ignores me and I think he bloody hates me. I hate myself a lot for being so loud and annoying, but I just can't stop myself."

Needless to say Gilbert Kirkland had their attention and it took a lot of effort for him not to smirk for his plan had worked. The red eyed boy made sure not to cackle and laugh loudly for then it would be ruined.

'I'm such an awesome actor.' Gilbert thought as he hiccupped and made himself appear so pitiful. He was looking down at his hands, tears kept on falling, and it was difficult to keep himself from cackling for everyone in the room was buying it.

"I will send a letter to your father and tomorrow all three of us shall talk about your behavior, Mister Kirkland. You may leave my office now." Dumbledore commented calmly and Gilbert resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the old wizard.

'Finally, I can leave.' Gilbert briefly thought as he walked out and mentally flipped off Dumbledore. 'His voice is so dull and boring that it ought to be a fucking crime.'

"Alright, Where the hell am I suppose to go?" Gilbert wondered out loud, arms crossed, and cheeks puffed out in annoyance.

"Hello, Gilbert." Cedric commented calmly and his arms were crossed. "I decided to wait for you due to the fact you are new and have no idea where the dormitories are located."

"I was going to be resourceful and find it on my own awesome wit. Not to mention my epic skill." Gilbert stated causally and he smirked at Cedric's faintly annoyed expression. "By the looks of you, Cedric. I would guess the Hufflepuff dormitories to be located near the kitchens."

"What do you mean by the looks of me?" Cedric managed to ask calmly and it is a good thing he's a rather patient person.

"Well, You look as if you are well-fed and stuff." Gilbert commented cheerfully and he had a faint smirk on his lips. "Plus you have a bit of food on your right cheek, Cedric. I'm awesome at guessing and normally I'm right on target."

Gilbert couldn't hold it in anymore and he started to cackle loudly, but alas Cedric was quick to cover up the boy's mouth with his hand and looked down at him while sighing deeply.

"What was the sorting hat thinking when it placed you in Hufflepuff." Cedric muttered under his breath and he uncovered Gilbert's mouth. "No more cackling and it is getting close to bedtime. So we have to be going now, Gilbert."

However Gilbert had fallen asleep on Cedric's arm after his mouth had been covered, he was snoring quietly in his sleep, and the older Hufflepuff shook his head.

"Best not to wake him up for then he would be loud again." Cedric commented to himself and with ease picked up the smaller Hufflepuff. "Hopefully, He will be calm and less loony in the morning."

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